The Commitment Formula
By: Nicodemus Hilaire
*Special Man’s Perspective Tip- Pushing for commitment is not a good idea in my opinion. If you really want it… Spend that time creating a real connection with your partner and he will think it is his idea.
Today we are going to learn the commitment formula. Which when applied correctly can drive almost any human relationship toward commitment. The only type of Commitment is voluntary and not a struggle to achieve. Now I know you ladies do not like it too easy. I understand the great amount of allure that a challenge possesses. If you find it going to well with my commitment formula and need more of a challenge, test it out on another, or just stop following and see what happens.
Throughout my years advising, giving readings and coaching one constant group of people who come to me are groups of women who all desire commitment. Many of them desire a man’s perspective and quick answers. Well today in this blog article I am going to do that and more.
I am going to give you a simple formula for commitment that can be applied quickly and effectively in one post. I am also going to give you the man’s perspective. It will also make sense. Please take in this information first then you may examine internally and get back to me as many of you have before.
*The Commitment Formula which is one of the many practices of what I lovingly refer to as Romantic Pragmatism. This formula of mine is part of a book I am writing on the topic of Romantic Pragmatism. It is both a spiritual and successful way of life.
- If you really do not like math. Just skip to next picture. (But read the bullet points!)
- This principle will work out in almost all healthy relationships.
- The point is the best way to get to commitment is to create CONNECTION with interactions like the ones listed (trading stories, spending time on a shared hobby & enjoyable sex) and to make yourself stick out by avoiding any controlling behavior.
- With this simple strategy I have helped many women get the commitment they desired, it is sometimes easier said than done. I am eager to help.
- The Man’s Perspective and More are coming.
- The next slide is for theory and fun & For the Mathematically inclined. If you do not like Math. The “Scales Diagram” explains it pretty simply. Follow along though if you wish there is no calculus. =)
- Finally the Commitment formula. For the Mathematically inclined in the next slide pretend that x is representative of a number and the higher that number is the more likely commitment will follow. If someone had absolutely no opinion of you then x would equal zero in your case. C2 is always a negative number. C1 is always a positive number. You need to take care of the negative first (hence the parenthesis) otherwise your partner will begin to bring up a mental guard. Then create as much Connection as possible. Under this formula it would be assumed that once C3 is high enough of a number commitment will naturally happen.
This really makes it easy to understand.
The Man’s Perspective
If we are going to marry someone we just want to be generally assured that we will be able to have a good time being around each other. The best way to affect that view point is just have a good time. The more you let your fear take control of you and engage in control actions the more that man will hide from you and turn “cold”.
Strategy“If you take care of all the small things, the big things will take care of themselves. You can gain more control over by paying closer attention to the little things.” Emily Dickinson
This quote is true especially in the case of attaining commitment. Stockpile moments of connection, these little things will add up and the big “Commitment Issue” will take care of itself. Think about it from my angle. I am single now but as a man if my lady and I are always laughing and having a good time the “next step” should and will come. Let that sentence sink in. It is true not only for ALMOST ALL straight men but for MOST people.
If I have to continually be asked where is this relationship headed? Well it is headed for commitment if you can manage to have a good time with me. If I must explain my whereabouts at every moment and I am not trusted then I am out.
You must honestly fill your relationship with as much Connection Behaviors as possible in order to have a committed relationship. After all who wants to marry someone they do not like. Someone they cannot laugh with? Share conversation with easily? Or that are not sexually enjoyable.
If you want commitment this is the way. Commitment is a voluntary act people engage in when they feel… Connection!
There are no more making emotional demands like demanding that someone tell you where they are all the time. Demanding that they change their Facebook Status or Calling Someone to find out what they are doing. If you must do this all the time people will smell you out eventually. If you cannot stop and they do smell you out this is what will happen. They will literally smell your insecurities and either take advantage of you and leave or leave when they are done taking advantage of you.
If you must have control do it the smart way and create moments that are filled with connection. There is also nothing wrong with this attitude. Also note that the greatest power over others is the control of oneself, until one gains decent self-control they will always be limited in their success.
Emily Dickinson if she were alive would probably love my idea of Romantic Pragmatism judging by her quote. Her quote advocates the gaining of control. There is nothing wrong with getting what you desire. I call it Success, and that is what Romantic Pragmatism is all about. It is about falling in love with success and celebrating it. A good way of describing your personal success is your “True Will.” Your True Will most often leads to your “Great Work” on Earth. For many that is creating and taking care of humans and for some it is part of it.
If you want commitment you now know the way. Seek connection and avoid using control. If you need any help schedule any one of many appointments with me here.
Look inside yourself and you know I am right. Test this out in the world and you will know as well. Practicing Romantic Pragmatism (The Love of Winning and Fulfilling Your Dreams is Your True Will).