The 5 Myths About Dating and Love By: Nicodemus Hilaire
In my many years of guiding women toward the ultimate long term relationship that many of them desire I have found a few myths that consistently get in the way. You see unlike the average blog writer or self appointed expert on romance I spend everyday helping people with these issues. I get paid to do so. I will also explain some of the why that these myths continue to pervade our society very briefly. I have also found a Mantra that works very well to destroy these myths from messing up your love life.
1) The Spark1-Many women claim to me that they did not “feel the spark” during their date. This is an unreasonable expectation that pervades the minds of women everywhere. The spark that you feel is lust. This is not to tell you that “love at first sight” does not exist, but to make it abundantly clear that if you are waiting for the “Spark” to sweep you off your feet you will be sourly disappointed. Do not let the absence “The Spark” fool you into thinking that so-and-so is an uninteresting boring guy. The Spark of true love takes time, sometimes as you very well know ladies that a man you may have not thought attractive at first can easily become your heart’s desire if given a chance. Many of you would now counter me with…
“But why Nico do I give him a second chance if I did not feel “it” in the first few times we spoke?”
How many people do you absolutely love with all of your heart without knowing? True love takes the time and effort of getting to know someone. This is when you fall in love and you very much feel the spark. When you get to know those very interesting “weird little things” that your partner does that makes you love them. Trading stories, spending time with a person and seeing how they react to certain situations makes you fall in love with their character, when you glance at someone you feel attraction/lust. Please do not confuse lust and love. This very easily leads me to my second profound myth.
2) Perfection, Perfection, Perfection– When you get to know someone you will get to know some of their not so pleasant characteristics. If these things grow on you, or your partner is willing to accept your imperfections and you are willing to accept there imperfections it is a very good thing indeed. There is NO PERFECT PARTNER NOR PERFECT RELATIONSHIP. Their is ONLY your choice and your partners choice to accept each other and grow together.
3) When will I meet the One?- This is laughable to me. This is honestly like waiting for Santa Claus or the Easter Bunny. It is a child like fantasy. The One is The One You Choose.
4) HE IS THE ONE YOU DON’T UNDERSTAND!- I WILL FIGHT YOU ABOUT THIS. 😉 If he cheats or beats you he is not the one and you must find another. If you have a NEED for something like this be honest with yourself and express it in a healthy way. See my article on BDSM. There is absolutely nothing wrong with you, just with how you are handling things.
5) Love Will Just Happen- It absolutely will not unless you make some effort. There are tens of thousands of men perhaps millions in your area right now that are JUST DYING TO MEET YOU. Put yourself out there! Take a chance! I have personally seen many find exactly what they were trying to find. In fact you may want to check out my article called A Man’s Perspective 11 Ways to Be More Attractive.
My Romance Mantra to Stop all of This is The Following.
Accept Everything, Expect Nothing.
I do not know whose thought that was originally but when those that I guide apply it to romance some amazing things happen. The most amazing thing that happens when you place this attitude into dating is that you will very quickly see who it is that is standing before you. This will give you the opportunity to get to know someone truly amazing you may have otherwise dismissed -or- to let a wolf in sheep’s clothing expose himself so that you may move onward toward your true love.
The purpose of this mantra applied to romance is to get to the true essence of who it is before you so that you may get to loving or moving on faster and it works.
Why Nico are these Myths perpetuated?
Many people will tell you that these myths are perpetuated by Disney Movies that incorporate a Disney Princess and other films that are similar. These same people will tell you that the blame is on the people who make such films and media. While I do believe that a certain amount of the blame does come from these people. They do not do it ONLY because IT makes for a nice 90 minute movie. If these myths are instilled in the authors and the films themselves then there must be a deeper reason. Especially since these films sell and people love them. If people love them it is somehow instilled into the very fabric that makes us human. Let me explain.
Evolutionary Biology- Girls NEED MEN!
Only for exception of the last 100-200 years at MOST in the MOST developed nations and that is stretching it women had very little freedoms. Modern human beings have been around for about 160,000 years and during 99.?% of that time if you were a human female and you did not have a male you did not eat. Also during this period which is most of mankind’s the most beautiful of women were taken by the strongest of men. Yes very much like animals this happened. This is why MANY of you women love men who are often referred by the gentle title of “an asshole.” You want a strong man to secure you and make you feel safe, but sometimes those same men can be very troublesome. Luckily for you, YOU are SOME OF THE ONLY WOMEN THAT EVER LIVED WITH COMPLETE CHOICE!
So in short women are programmed by evolution deep within their mind to expect to be “swept off their feet” which translates into being taken in evolutionary terms. The latest scientific studies that I have read on seem to suggest that unless you were abused, your genetic makeup will take over your character to a large extent. This means that the Disney movies are not that harmful, but that we simply do not know how to nurture human beings better since abuse is the only environmental factor that we know makes a statistically significant impact on human development.
THE WOMEN OF TODAY ARE part of a very small minority in all human history to be free to choose. Please Enjoy and unlike your ancestors you do not have to put up with abusive men. So enjoy and LOVE, USE THE MANTRA and he will VERY QUICKLY reveal to you who and what he is about.
Make SURE TO Subscribe to the Ask Nico Newsletter on the right sidebar so that you may enjoy my next article(s). One of my next articles will be on the only thing or perhaps the most important thing to teach a child. This ONE THING, will make them A VERY POWERFUL MAN OR WOMAN, just in case the two of you were somehow tragically separated. It is also the THE MOST IMPORTANT THING I BELIEVE TO TEACH A CHILD AND I WILL TEACH IT TO MY CHILD when and if that time comes to me.
1 Why do you think THE MAJOR BEST SELLING AUTHOR of “The Notebook” & “A Walk to Remember” NICHOLAS SPARKS, writes under the last name Sparks? He is PLAYING you on YOUR EXPECTATION FOR “THE SPARK.”